We are all familiar with the expression “so and so is the black sheep of the family.” According to Merriam-webster’s definition; it is a disfavored or disreputable member of a group. We all have someone we can point to that upsets the applecart of our family. These people can’t seem to do life the way we do it, think like we do, or even relate to one another the way that we do. It’s almost as if they are from another world sent here to challenge the very core our belief systems, and honey, I got a news flash for ya…they are!
As a person that enjoys exploring the energy behind our words and actions, I’d like to challenge that definition above and say those people are in fact the change your family has been waiting for. Be willing to consider that the universe has a plan by lambing these ewes and rams into your flock. Their inability to go with your flow can serve you, if you are able to let go of your stance and let your heart lead the way in mending broken fences.
We black sheep are considered a part of your group as long as we are able to suppress our individuality. When you throw your arms up in indignation you aren’t putting me in my place, you are showing me your limits. Those charged emotions that explode into the sky of your mind are meant to show you variations in attitudes. Our world is greater than the duality created by the black and white moments of our disagreements.
We grow weary of trying to change who we are to fit into your landscape. We know that no matter how you might attempt to inculcate us with your beliefs we can never submit to a mentality that seeks exclusion, by way of inclusion based on your preferences alone. At our very core there is an interconnectedness, so we play upon your fears to challenge your structure, your rules that are senseless to us. Your discomfort offers us the chance to build our own resilience because we know that above your parapet exists our freedom. By following our own rhythm, we create an energetic pathway for you to follow yours, enabling you to release your self-imposed restraints.
The pot/kettle moments are the most delectable. They attest to your ability to set clear boundaries with our behavior, while yours are never to be challenged. If you listen carefully to your complaints with our missteps, you might note that you are culpable of the very thing that ignites the fires that eventually will burn the bridges between us. It's projection at its best, and we can ALL be guilty of this behavior.
If you have a black sheep in your family, ask yourself one question: What makes them different from you, and then listen to your judgement respond. That response implores Lady Justice to put on her blindfold and link to her heart. We black sheep are placed strategically by the universe in families that have patterns and cycles that are in desperate need of transformation. Go ahead and point your fingers, shake your heads and bless our hearts. Although it is not easy to be shunned by the people we love, we stay vigilant. In our hearts we know that in order to be in accordance with your doctrine, we must betray ours.
There is a win/win…. There is a place where you can keep your beliefs and I can keep mine. Acceptance is making allowances for both/and and booting either/or out the door. It requires letting go of our dogma and seeing one another as human beings. Let your fear, shame and judgement of me have a seat at your table and be heard without giving it the power to determine if our relationship lives or dies at the hand of your righteousness. If you find yourself to be the black sheep take heart, you are living your purpose as an agent of change. When we all learn to communicate from our wisdom instead of our wounds, we can heal the silence between us.
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